DEGREES OF SEPARATION
A Widow Bit – Oct. 2, 2011
By Mary Koch

            This is a trial separation. I tried to explain that to Daphne, my black lab-mix, as I loaded the car on Friday. She noticed that I was filling HER space with luggage and looked at me, puzzled.

            Daphne is only three years old, but I’m more closely bonded to her than any of the previous, beloved dogs who enriched my life. Daphne and I have had the luxury of spending more one-on-one time with each other: I work at home, I no longer have caregiving responsibilities for anyone other than Daphne (and myself), and I’m free to spend long hours on walks together.

            Already in her short life, we’ve travelled thousands of miles on road trips. But for this journey to southern Oregon, I left Daphne at home. In December, when I move to Holden Village in a remote area of the North Cascade Mountains, I will have to leave Daphne behind for twelve months. No dogs welcome in that pristine, wilderness setting.

            She’s spending these ten days getting to know the family who will house- and dog-sit for me next year. That includes a seven-year-old, who proved the other evening that she can romp with the energy and imagination that Daphne craves. Energy and imagination that I, at age sixty-seven, cannot fully provide. I think Daphne will do OK with our separation; I’m not as confident about me.

            I awake these mornings with the realization that my first act, after getting out of bed, will not be a hugathon with the dog. “Oh, you’re still here. Well, so am I. Doesn’t that make it a great day!?”

            What is it about dogs that makes us humans so much better than we would be otherwise? There’s a scientific explanation. In the book, “Inside Of A Dog: What Dogs See, Smell and Know,” researcher Alexandra Horowitz explains:

            “Simply petting a dog can reduce an overactive sympathetic nervous system within minutes: a racing heart, high blood pressure, the sweats. Levels of endorphins (hormones that make us feel good) and oxytocin and prolactin (those hormones involved in social attachment) go up when we’re with dogs. Cortisol (stress hormones) levels go down. There is good reason to believe that living with a dog provides the social support which correlates with reduced risk for various diseases, from cardio vascular disease to diabetes to pneumonia, and better rates of recovery from those diseases we do get.”

            Horowitz’s next observation makes me feel really good: “In many cases, the dog receives nearly the same effect. Human company can lower a dog’s cortisol level; petting can calm a racing heart.”

            In short, Daphne and I are good for each other. I’m sure there are similar data showing how humans can increase each others’ endorphins, oxytocin and prolactin, if only we would. A human companion might not forgive my going off alone, but Daphne will welcome me home whole-heartedly. I’m not the first to suggest that in a perfect world, we’d all be a bit more like dogs.