WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE?
THEY'VE GONE LOOKING FOR A NEW SONG
Journal of Healing – Feb. 25, 2003
By Mary Koch

The state of world affairs these days has been enough to set off a flurry of eye blinks around our house. Ever since my husband's voice was silenced by stroke nearly 10 years ago, he has communicated by blinking his eyes to spell out words – using our own special code.

It's a laborious process, so he wastes no words in spelling out his assessment of global turmoil.

"It's a good thing you're no longer writing editorials," I tell him. "Somebody would have burned the newspaper building down by now."

Public opinion polls indicate most Americans are moving from their ambivalence of a few months ago to solidified positions, either anti-war or pro-Bush administration. I think there's still time to save the country from becoming polarized. I'm promoting a rationale that I trust will make sense to both sides. Here, in ascending order of importance, are seven reasons why we should go to war sooner than later:

Reason No. 7: War would improve network television news. TV news relies on mayhem instead of intelligent reporting, especially when there's graphic footage. Trouble is, there's never enough graphic footage. That's why we're subjected to scenes of airplanes flying into skyscrapers and disintegrating space shuttles over and over and over and over and . . . well, you get the point. With war, we'll get up-to-date, fresh mayhem daily. Film at 11.

Reason No. 6: War brings people together. We are forced to look beyond our pet causes, creating new and interesting political alliances. Before long we'll be seeing coalitions with names like Pro-Choice Mothers Against Drunk Driving Who Hate Saddam But Oppose The Pre-emptive Doctrine." Or we'll have "The Right People Support The Right War," including, of course, representatives of gun rights, gay rights, the religious right and animal rights.

Reason No. 5: We'll have something to talk about besides weather or religion. For example, the other night we had guests over for a simple supper. Ordinarily, we would have said goodbye to the guests and cleaned up the dishes by nine p.m. But thanks to prolonged debate over the war, ten o'clock found us still at the table.

Reason No. 4: War will get this largely overweight nation back to exercising. There will be those miles of protest marches to walk. And those who aren't protesting will get plenty of upper body exercise as they stand at the curbside, hurling epithets and other items.

Reason No. 3: War will inspire a revival of folk music. Let's face it. Folk has been on a downward spiral ever since the glory days of Vietnam protest songs. Arlo Guthrie is wandering around the country these days, still singing "Alice's Restaurant." Peter, Paul and Mary resemble members of an AARP bowling league.

Reason No. 2: War is a creative way to sneak foreign aid back into the federal budget. We've already spent $37 billion in Afghanistan. Turkey's holding out for $32 billion instead of the measly $26 billion the U.S. is offering to deploy troops from there. Just think of the bundle we'll be able to drop on Iraq. And I'm talking bucks, not bombs.