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SIX THINGS LEARNED
AFTER 13 YEARS
Journal of Healing – June 27, 2007
By Mary Koch

We’ve been spending some time with a friend, who recently had a stroke, and her husband. I’m amazed by how much they’ve learned in a few short months.

Stroke recovery, for both patient and family, is all about learning stuff you never wanted to know. There’s no way of preparing ahead. Strokes – for the most part – arrive unannounced and unanticipated. It’s as if you were plucked from earth and deposited on an alien planet where not even your own body is familiar.

There’s a whole new language. You learn the difference between thrombotic, embolic and hemorrhagic strokes; between pronation and supination, between aphasia and apraxia (although I’ll admit, I still get those last two confused).

* * *

YOU RELEARN the alphabet. You may have had a TIA or two before you had the big CVA. In “rehab,” a PT and OT check things like your ROM and ability to manage ADLs before you are DC’d.*

After my husband’s stroke we wanted to know everything we could learn about stroke recovery. I read book after book aloud to him. Since his only communication then was to raise his eyes, I would watch him as I read. If his eyes went up, it meant the passage had special significance.

The most helpful books were written by stroke survivors and caregivers, many published at their own expense. One writer said it takes at least five years to fully understand and deal with the impact of stroke. That told us to slow down and stop worrying about instant recovery.

* * *

NOW, MORE than 13 years after John’s stroke, I’ve learned as his caregiver a half-dozen things for sure.

1. Strokes happen. We can reduce the likelihood of stroke, but even the healthiest individual with an ideal life style can suffer a stroke – at any age. Strokes require instant medical attention and after a stroke, there’s no time or space for guilt or regret about what could’ve or should’ve been done.

2. Anyone recovering from a stroke is not a “victim,” but a “survivor.” The victims are the 150,000 Americans who die annually from stroke – the third leading cause of death in this country. Still, most stroke patients survive.

3. There are no time limits on recovery. The idea that most recovery occurs within the first six months is a myth perpetuated by financial pressures. John has achieved more speech recovery in the past three years than in the first 10.

4. Disability is relative. We all have our limitations.

5. Disability is not an illness. My husband is healthier than plenty of other 75-year-olds.

6. No two strokes are alike, because every brain and body is unique. Injuries and outcomes are individual. Each stroke survivor has the power to determine his or her own story.

*TIA - transient ischemic attack, or “mini” stroke; CVA - cerebral vascular accident, or stroke; PT - physical therapist; OT - occupational therapist; ROM - range of motion; ADL - activities of daily living; DC – discharged.

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