Weird

SOMETIMES I THINK
EVERYONE'S WEIRD
EXCEPT THEE AND ME*
Journal of Healing – March 17, 2004
By Mary Koch

(*And sometimes I wonder about me.)

We recently saw a movie that happened to be "R" rated – no one under 17 permitted in the theater. How nuts our movie rating system is!

The movie had no sex or violence. The rating alluded to "language and some drug content." I saw some barely noticeable pot smoking and heard the sort of profanity that’s common on the streets of Anytown, U.S.A.

So kids under 18 – and a whole lot of other people – are going to miss seeing "The Station Agent," which has a rich message suitable for any age.

Anyone who’s ever felt like a loner, a misfit, a weirdo or outsider could relate to the movie’s protagonist, a dwarf named Fin.

Every day Fin endures rudeness, insensitivity and even cruelty. Children ask personal questions, adults make fun and shop clerks overlook him.

Other people simply stop and stare. Just like the kid on a bike who passed my husband and me as we were heading to the movie.

People in wheelchairs aren’t all that unusual, but John’s is an extended chair with headrest and tilted leg supports. He wears a flowing poncho because jackets are difficult to put on when you’re paralyzed. Add the headgear for warmth, the absence of expression on his face, and the "ol’ lady" pushing the chair, well, we are a sight to behold.

* * *

THE KID on the bike glanced over his shoulder, then stopped at the corner to take a longer look while waiting for the light. I suspect he wanted to ask about John but was old enough to know better.

Smaller kids are unrestrained. "What happened to him?" they ask before their mothers can shush them. I’m not sure children understand the word "stroke." The medical term is cerebral vascular accident, so one time I told a child, "He had an accident in his brain." The child immediately turned to his mother and announced solemnly, "His brain was in a accident."

I thought about advising the kid on the bike that his stare was just a tad rude, but I figured that wouldn’t make him any more sensitive toward the disabled or different. Instead, I just smiled. He smiled back – a genuine, warm and open smile – and then shot off on his bike. He was about 10, but he would have understood and learned from "The Station Agent."

* * *

THE DWARF builds an invisible shield to protect himself from insensitivity. He isolates himself, even in a crowd. That shield, however, is cracked, then destroyed by friendships.

Friendships – human relationships – are the building blocks of community. Every time a community embraces someone who is different or unique, that uniqueness is reflected in the depth and color of the community’s character.

I was reminded of that on a recent Sunday when John was feeling under par and missed church. One of the newer members of our church community was clearly concerned as she asked about him.

"I’ve never been here when he wasn’t here," she explained. And I realized that instead of being the guy who was different, the guy who sits in a wheelchair by the organ, John in her eyes was part of the usual scene. What was UN-usual was his absence.

You’re probably aware of "odd" people who make your community unique, whose absence would rob it of color and personality. In fact, if you’re blessed, truly blessed, you may be one of them.

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